How to loose over 15 pounds...

Hello my name is Adam and I have a problem.  A gall bladder problem.  About a year or so ago I started feeling pains in my upper stomach, lower chest area.  I figured it was either heartburn issues or the tapeworm I smuggled out of Mexico last year.  After learning Spanish and having my tapeworm inform me that it was definitely not him causing the pains, I decided to go into the doctor.  The doctor told me to start taking Prilosec for the heartburn.  Well this did take care of the problem for months.  Then last month happened.  I began getting bad pains once again.  Some days the pain would go away only after a few hours, other days it would take all night long.  We tried everything we could think of.  Including making special drinks with baking soda to playing twister with Twizzlers while watching the movie twister.  Nothing was working.  So Michelle finally convinced me to go the the doctor.  The doctor informed me it could be my gall bladder or ulcers..  Which was devastating to hear because I have really become attached to my gall bladder the last few years.  So attached that I even named him Paul.  So they took blood samples to make sure it was not ulcers and so they could clone me in the future...just in case things took a wrong turn.  Negative on the ulcers. Next step was to receive an ultrasound.  By having an ultrasound I had to fast for 12 hours.  This was not a problem because I have not been able to eat anything for the past 3 days at this point anyway.  Except sour patch kids dipped in Rum.  Having ultrasounds are fun.  I was excited to find out the gender of Paul (gall bladder).  Only to find out that Paul was compressed and not looking normal.  So I set up another appointment with the doctor which wasn't until the next week.  This was not soon enough, let me tell you why.  Sunday...two days after the ultrasound, Paul was pissed.  He was making so much pain that I passed out.  Not from the sour patch kids with Rum, but from the pain.  I was super white and shaking my whole body uncontrollably.  So my lovely wife rushed me to the emergency room.  But we did have to make a pit stop to fill up gas and return our redbox movie "Moneyball."  Which is a good movie by the way.  Then we went to artic circle because Michelle figured if she had to wait at the ER then she wanted ice cream.  When we first arrived, I thought we were at the old folks home because all extremely old people were there.  Everyone let me go in front of them because they thought I was dying.  I thought I was too...so did Paul!  With excruciating pain they decided to ask me to take a survery before the pain medication.  So I did the best thing I could think of to get medication, I faked passing out.  Trust me that will get there attention. They tried 2 shots of Morphine first.  Nothing!  Then they gave me something that is 10 times greater than the Morphine.  After that set in, I could still feel the pain, but I no longer cared.  Paul was feeling better.  After  a couple of hours of watching late night VH1 pop up videos I got really sick from the medication and vomited up 8.25 pounds.  I was finally allowed to go home with a strict diet of fruit shakes and plain white rice.

For the rest of the story I (Michelle) will finish :) So he seriously didn't eat hardly anything the whole month of January. So he went to the ER on Sunday night, then on Monday he went in for a HIDA scan that took 4 hours because they could not find his gall bladder, it just wouldn't show up. He didn't eat or drink anything for about 24 hours and they had him take a drink that would light everything up inside of him, and nothing would work. So that was now 3 tests they did on him and his gall bladder wouldn't show up. So then he met with the Surgeon on Thursday, and he was pretty confident it was his gall bladder. So he had to wait until the next Tuesday to have surgery. So even after going to the ER he had to wait a whole week and almost a half. He was very nervous for surgery, mostly to be knocked out and have to wake up from it being all groggy. But the surgery went really well. And it turns out he had one of the biggest gall stones the doctor had ever seen and that's why it never showed up on any of the tests because it was so contracted because it was blocked off. The doctor also said it was one of the worst looking gall bladders, and he did have infection in it too.  So Adam was happy to know he wasn't just being a baby. :) He was pretty sore the first day, and by the 3rd day he was feeling much better...until that night came. (Thursday night) And all that weekend he had a constant fever, and he throat was extremely sore. Once again he couldn't eat anything, and towards the end of the week he couldn't drink or talk either. Sunday night got SO bad he said he throat felt like it was literally on fire, so back to the ER we went. The first second the nurse looked at his throat she automatically said it was strep. But the doctor said it definitely wasn't. But he just had HUGE white soars all over the back of his throat. They think it's from the tube that was down his throat during surgery that somehow irritated and infected his throat. And once again, when he had his follow up with the surgeon two days later he looked at his throat and was really worried and said that was the worst he had seen. So poor Adam seriously just had such a horrible month! And he ended up loosing 22 pounds. But now he FINALLY is back to normal! YAY!! He can eat...drink...talk...move around and not hurt. So life it just great! We are SO glad that is behind us!

This is him right after surgery, he was still very much on drugs! It was funny because he kept asking for one of the guys that was in surgery because he never got to finish his joke that he was telling him when he got knocked out.